Thursday, August 24, 2006

It's Good Being Married...

... because one day you're home walking around in your underwear, and a light suddenly comes on in your husand's eyes. He begins to look at you with wonder and with awe. He's singing you praises: "Honey, you're so hot. You've got a body just like Shakira's."

The next minute you know that married life just keeps on getting better, because the man is looking at you longer, state of wonder and awe intact, in fact elevated as he exclaims, "Your breasts, they're lovelier than hers."

You stand up straighter, tuck in your tummy, stick your butt out a little. "I should have started those belly-dancing lessons," you berate yourself, but only lightly, because you're really having too much fun basking in the admiration.

Milk the moment for all it's worth is the thing to do on these occasions, because you know what they say: Good things never last.

There the husband is, still looking at you, but now a little less stupefied. "Except," and here he pauses, inclining his head to one side to get a better view of your behind. "I think it's all those years working in an office doing nothing but being in front of a computer." Another pause. "What?!" you half-shout. He continues: "Your butt, it starts out with a bump, and then it goes flat. It's quite flat, like your flesh forgot that it's not sitting down in an office chair anymore. You've got a flat butt, honey. Here, see," he points. "Look, it's flat."

Since they say that marriage is about compromise, and you know that hitting him on the head with a frying pan--yes, flat on the head--would make you feel too guilty, you just pull on a pair of jeans and tell him to shut up.


Anonymous said...

Ati, I would have preferred reading about you and the frying pan, hahaha! Ako, I just feel lucky when I angle myself well enough for my husband not to discover unruly hills and crevices. And your butt is not flat, ha! I think you have an Angelina Jolie-esque body--skinny appendages with big boobs. Fabulous!

KaY said...

Haha! My husbang said to me one time, "I love you!" so I felt giddy ... then he added "tabachoy ng buhay ko!" Argh!

haze said...

You should have responded Pierre "tu as un gros bidon"! ha ha ha wait for his reaction ;-)!

apol said...

KAT, you're too kind, but as the song goes, That's what friends are for... Mwah! to you.

KAY, ang sweet. Tabachoy is actually one of my favorite words :)

HAZE, ginawa ko na yan. Ang response, "Ils sont les muscles qui se cachent." Taas ng confidence level ano?

decorator said...

a bawing bawi naman ng harapan ang pwet!

ziryusly, ok pa yan atih, kesa iba na yung magprotude-- shet tulad ko.. parati na lang natatanong kung mahilig ako magbeer. naknangpucha! di ako nagbibeer!!

mcsister said...

Hahahah, Apol, I love this! I can see your flirty look as you basked in Pierre's comments – and the almost-frying-pan reaction too. And I echo Kat, I don't remember a flat butt – BnB ka nga eh -- breast and butt -- and cheekbones too :-)

apol said...

GWYN, napahalakhak ako! Haughty elegance naman ang weapon of choice mo, hindi ba? So carry na rin kahit may konting hump ka diyan.

MAYA!!! I miss you! I love your sister Rina's charms. Oh, I have to e-mail her back pala. I'm rambling... E-mail me life developments, my lovely.