Monday, May 28, 2007

Survival Tip from the Diaspora

Maybe it's because I grew up with three sisters, but I find it essential to every now and then be surrounded by my girl friends. Even though no one can make me laugh as hard as my husband, I find that the thing about men is that when you start telling them of your troubles, they'll instantly start offering you solutions, failing to get that we're not really looking for any advise, because we're all grown up and know exactly what to do, all we're really looking for is an ear where to spill our worries.

And because I'm really a girl's kind of girl, the thing that I'm finding wonderful is that regardless of nationality and regardless of language, women everywhere are the same: gifted with the ability to find deep release in what to the unperceptive observer looks like nothing but banal chichat. Today's survival tip for the Filipina moving at least an ocean away from home: Instead of staying cooped up being homesick, go out and make friends.

10 comments:

katrina said...

You're absolutely right, Apol! Having good girlfriends is one of the best things about being a girl. I feel incredibly blessed to have several of them.

Makis said...

When my husband was complaining about all the invitations we receive, I asked, "would you want me to chatter away my girl-ness with you every night?" to which he replied a big NO, so I told him that's the significance of my girl friends - especially sooo far away from home.

Lenita Maldita said...

Very sound advice and very true. The only trouble here is that most English women would like to drink in the pub at night and I don't drink. I have two Filipina friends but one is in Great Yarmouth and one is in New Milton - both far away from where I am. Another good friend is based in America. So I end up spending hours chatting with them on the phone - yes, we do need to have girl-talks and men don't understand that! One time my husband said to me, 'Why do you need a support network? You are a grown up now.' I said, 'Yes and I am also a human being...and a woman.' Hehehe, ewan ko kung naintindihan nya...Haaaaay.

Gina said...

Unfortunately for me, it's been kind of difficult to find a girlfriend that I could hang out with. Everybody seems to be busy with work ,with family ,with kids. There are the occasional encounters, but they are just acquaintances,nobody that I could be quite comfortable with like my old friends back home. In the workplace naman, well, they are workmates and yes, we talk , but really, there seems to be no "common ground" for us to tread on. Hay, thanks goodness for blogging and bloghopping, at least, I get a dose of 'girl talk'. O,di ba?

MyTiVoGetsMe said...

Apol, you are so right. I have learned to deal with girlfriends na rine-r*gla though, mainly because it is so hard to find people to who want to make new friends. Most people in DC have an attitude that goes "I already have friends."

Btw did you receive the glass item I sent?

writerinresidence said...

Hey...what a coincidence...I am one of three sisters myself. That said, I do find that really good kindred spirit women friends (as opposed to just fun to be with gals) are few and far between. That said, I have been told my expectations are much too high on these counts...

mcsister said...

I agree... and I'm glad my picture is in this entry's collage :)

apol said...

KATRINA and MAKIS, I find that having great girl friends is one of the secrets to a happy life.

LEN and GINA, I totally understand that. It took me a while to find women I enjoyed being with over here. It's really about finding your own way first, I think, setting up your life, doing activities you enjoy, loving what you do/ where you are/ who you are, and the making of friends just naturally follows.

Yes, MYTIVO, I owe you a thank-you note.

Ah, kindred spirits. I can count them on the fingers of one hand, NOELLE. Honestly, I think there is something wrong with people who have too many friends, or who are too quick to label everybody else a friend. High expectations are good.

MCSIS, how can you not be in it? :)

mitsuru said...

hmmm, bakit kaya napadpad ako dito? hehe.

most of my friends here in uncle sam's america are women. they call me as the only thorn among the roses! ha-ha.

apol said...

MITSURU, I think guys who can hang out with girls and not complain that we're too noisy are very cool :)